This week I’m almost done with my 2nd week of my 2nd cream cycle. I usually do 2 weeks on 2 weeks off, but I started early during my 2nd week off 2 weeks ago. I think instead of doing biweekly cycles, I’m just going to stay on the cream for a while, maybe a month or two, and see where I end up. I’ve gotten more relaxed about counting calories recently, I’m just enjoying eating a lot and whatever I want. I have 3-4 cups of cream daily, so I’m hitting some kind of surplus no matter what anyway. I also haven’t been weighing myself as obsessively as I had in the past, just once every few days. I was 162 this morning, which puts me up about 5 pounds since last week; that delayed cream effect kicking it. 20 pound gain so far.
I have an actual belly now, it is soft and round and jiggles a bit. Moobs are starting to form, especially when I’m sitting a bit slouched over. One new thing I’ve noticed is a new amount of friction happening in my armpits, new flesh rubbing together. My thighs almost touch when I walk. Ive gotten some comments on my gain, It’s finally gotten noticeable. I know in reality I’m still rather skinny and fit, but I feel huge. On one hand, I’ve never felt this sexually satisfied and fulfilled in my entire life. It’s like a while new layer of myself has been unlocked. On the other hand, I feel more conflicted about my gain than ever. I guess you can’t really feel that until you’ve actually grown and changed a noticeable amount. While I am proud of and aroused by my new body, I’m also feeling embarrassed and discouraged by it. I feel like my identity is changing, and realistically I’ve only got about 15-20 more pounds of “being in shape” before I’ll actually start to look pretty chubby. It makes me super happy and horny to imagine myself like that, but also gets scarier and scarier with every pound. Will I be able to lose the weight if I go all to my 200 pound goal and I don’t like it? It’s certainly a commitment. There’ve been a few days where I tell myself I’m not going to drink the cream, I’m gonna stop and start eating healthy again and exercise. Every one of those days ends with my chugging cups of cream.
One huge update I have is that I finally told my partner about my weight gain fetish. She was super supportive and understanding and she gave me some good advice regarding my conflictions. It feels amazing to get that off your chest after years of keeping it a secret from everyone. Im super lucky to have someone who is as understanding as her.
I have an actual belly now, it is soft and round and jiggles a bit. Moobs are starting to form, especially when I’m sitting a bit slouched over. One new thing I’ve noticed is a new amount of friction happening in my armpits, new flesh rubbing together. My thighs almost touch when I walk. Ive gotten some comments on my gain, It’s finally gotten noticeable. I know in reality I’m still rather skinny and fit, but I feel huge. On one hand, I’ve never felt this sexually satisfied and fulfilled in my entire life. It’s like a while new layer of myself has been unlocked. On the other hand, I feel more conflicted about my gain than ever. I guess you can’t really feel that until you’ve actually grown and changed a noticeable amount. While I am proud of and aroused by my new body, I’m also feeling embarrassed and discouraged by it. I feel like my identity is changing, and realistically I’ve only got about 15-20 more pounds of “being in shape” before I’ll actually start to look pretty chubby. It makes me super happy and horny to imagine myself like that, but also gets scarier and scarier with every pound. Will I be able to lose the weight if I go all to my 200 pound goal and I don’t like it? It’s certainly a commitment. There’ve been a few days where I tell myself I’m not going to drink the cream, I’m gonna stop and start eating healthy again and exercise. Every one of those days ends with my chugging cups of cream.
One huge update I have is that I finally told my partner about my weight gain fetish. She was super supportive and understanding and she gave me some good advice regarding my conflictions. It feels amazing to get that off your chest after years of keeping it a secret from everyone. Im super lucky to have someone who is as understanding as her.
2 years